In the city of Baroda lived Mulla Nooruddin, Alavi Bohra Mukasir. He looked apperantly good, talked very softly, and acted very gentally until money came near him. Then his piety vanished faster than a free plate of Biryani.
Every Friday, after shouting about how interest is Haram, Mulla Nooruddin would clear his throat and say:
“Muminin! Give your money to Dawat. We will invest it in pure, Halal business.”
But his “pure” investments are:
Land that didn’t exist.
Stocks that went up and down like a broken fan
A crypto coin called Halal Coin that disappeared like smoke
Nooruddin Mukasir spent most of his day with property dealers and stock brokers.
“Buy this plot! It will make you rich!” he shouted.
“But Nooruddin, the plot is inside a river,” the dealer said.
“Water means blessings!” replied the Nooruddin confidently.
Then he went to the stock market:
“Buy today! I had a dream-it’s a bull market!”
“But yesterday you said it was a bear market?”
“Dreams change, my Brother.”
People came to him with problems-marriage fights, family disputes, even rooster complaints. Nooruddin Mukasir listened carefully, then said the same thing to everyone:
“This is a very difficult matter. Needs special religious treatment. Pay the Najwa (Salaam Lifafa).”
If someone hesitated to pay, he changed into full pressure mode:
“Bhai, do you want peace or trouble? Better pay before things get worse.”
Almost everyone paid.
One day, the towns people found out where their money really went:
A night club pretending to be a “charity hall”
A warehouse full of suspicious “medicine”
Shares of a company making very, very Haram videos
The people were shocked. When they asked him, Nooruddin Mukasir said confidently:
“Brothers, sometimes the road to Halal must pass through Haram!”
Old Ahmad Ali B.S shouted, Nooruddin Mukasir, your road has been only Haram for a few years!”
The people demanded answers. Nooruddin Mukasir packed up the last bag of money, and went his house. He left behind: His bed debts
And a map of a Dawat project floating in the river
Now whenever someone sees a shady business deal, they say:
“Careful! This looks like a Nooruddin Mukasir Deal.”
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